


When Words Fail

by PhantomsVixen008



Category: Gotham (TV)
Genre: M/M, Nygmobblepot
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-05-02
Updated: 2018-05-02
Packaged: 2019-05-01 07:26:19
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,724
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14515374
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/PhantomsVixen008/pseuds/PhantomsVixen008
Summary: Sometimes words aren't enough for an apology. Sometimes a gift will show your true intentions. Ed Nygma has a lot to apologize for when it comes to Oswald Cobblepot.This fic takes place after season 4 episode 16.Slight bit of gore towards the end .. maybe ...





	When Words Fail

Looking up from the paper's scattered across his desk, Oswald was surprised to find Ed standing there. He still felt that he could just walk in, as though he still lived there. 

"Ed," he sighed as a form of greeting. "What brings you by unnanounced?" He knew the irritation was clear in his voice as he addressed the other man. 

Ed at least had the decency to look a bit sheepish, eyes downcast as he stood, carefully placing the tote bag he carried on the floor. "I ... I need to talk to you." 

"I thought we had done plenty of that. Does the good doctor know you are here with me? I assumed she'd want to keep her pet close." 

"I'm not her pet, Oswald. And .. well, that's why I wanted to talk to you." 

Oswald made a dismissive gesture, setting his pen down. "Talk then."

Swallowing hard, Ed looked up at him, Oswald noticing for the first time just how tired he looked. No, exhausted was a better word. He looked like he hadn't slept in days, and probably when he had it hadn't been restful. 

"I'm sorry, Oswald," he started. "I made a mistake in choosing her over you. I ... I don't know why I did it, other than I thought ... I thought perhaps she and I could have a normal life. But I was wrong." 

He could count on one hand how many times Edward Nygma had ever admitted he was wrong. This confession caught him off guard. 

"It was beaten into me at an early age that there was something wrong with me, Oswald. You have to understand that. My, feelings, and attractions to other boys," he sighed. "Well, my father called me a sissy every chance he got and beat me half to death. So you can see why I wanted a normal relationship. A man and a woman, not ... not this," he gestured between the two of them. "I didn't want to admit that there was anything between us. Not anything more than friendship." 

Oswald knew he was staring at the other man, but those words had left him with a thousand thoughts running through his mind. He was angry that anyone had ever abused him, and a part of him was happy that he was finally admitting that he at least felt something for him. "And are you admitting now that there is?" he asked cautiously. 

Ed chewed his bottom lip, almost to the point of drawing blood. He had a hard time meeting Oswald's gaze. The question burning in his brain. "I ... yes," he whispered, almost too quietly for Oswald to even hear. 

Keeping his face neutral, or at least that's what he hoped, Oswald leaned back in his chair, his arms crossing over his chest. He studied the other man, motioning for him to sit down. 

Ed moved to sit, looking more like a newborn giraffe than a criminal mastermind. 

He sighed, waiting for Ed to start talking. He continued studying him, noticing little things about him. Little tells that were a sign he wasn't doing well. He knew him well enough by now, even after all this time. 

"You gave up your revenge for me. You... why?" he softly asked, brown eyes finally raising up to look at Oswald. 

"Do I really have to say it again, just so you can tell me that I don't know what love is?" he asked dryly, his hands moving to splay out across the desk. "Because that is a conversation that has been beaten to death." 

"I .. I deserve that," he sighed. "Once again, I was wrong Oswald. You understand and feel love more than any other person I've ever met. You feel things on a level I don't think I ever could," he tilted his head, tongue running along his bottom lip. "You are an amazing creature. After all that has happened to you," he trailed off. "All that I've done to you, you ... you still love me." 

Oswald went rigid at that. For some reason hearing him say those words made it almost feel like he was mocking him. "If you are going to make fun of me, Edward, I suggest you leave." 

He held up his hands in defense. "I'm not making fun of you. I swear. I'm seriously in awe of you. I don't ... I don't know how you could still love me at all. I don't deserve it." 

Oswald blinked rapidly, feeling tears well in his eyes, but he refused to cry. "You only get one true love, Edward." His words held no venom as he spoke. "I will live through the rest of my days loving you. And I've come to terms with the fact that you will never feel the same about me. I wish you and the Doc all the best." 

"I .. I don't want her, Oswald. That's what I'm trying to tell you. It .. it was fun, but she never loved me," he picked at the palms of his hands as he spoke. "I guess I know how you felt. She didn't love me, I was a means to an end. A way to fund her little projects in the Narrows. That's it. And it hurts," he whispered, his words catching on a sob. 

The sob almost did Oswald in. He still hated even at this point for Ed to hurt. He knew he should wish him ill. Or even put a bullet in his brain and put them both out of their misery. But he couldn't do it. And he knew he never could. With a deep sigh, he pushed away from his desk, hobbling over towards Ed. In the process he managed to get his foot tangled in the strap of the bag at Ed's feet. Acting on instinct Ed caught him. 

"Are you alright?" he asked softly, already on his feet, both hands on Oswald's forearms. 

"Fine," he answered, realizing just how much he had missed the other's touch. He tried desperately to will himself to pull away, but he just didn't have the strength. "What's in the bag that almost killed me?" 

That question pulled Ed from his thoughts making him blink rapidly. "Oh," he began chewing his bottom lip again, still holding onto Oswald. "It's .. it's kind of an apology gift. But I'm afraid you'll think it's weird." 

He made no move to let go of the smaller man, his brown eyes locked on Oswald's green. "I am truly sorry for all the pain I've caused you. Every bit of it. You didn't deserve that. You certainly didn't deserve me shooting you, and then when you gave me a second chance, I .. I shunned your friendship," he trailed off. "You are the best friend I've ever had Oswald. In my entire life no one has given a damn about me the way you have. I truly don't deserve your forgiveness. I don't deserve you." 

Oswald pulled away a bit, straightening his shirt. "You're right. You don't deserve me." He watched as Ed's face fell, and it caused a pain in his heart. "But, you also didn't deserve what she did to you. You didn't deserve to be used. And you didn't deserve the things I did to you as well. You're a good man, Edward Nygma. And you should be happy." 

"I was happy once. When .. when I was with you. When I was living here with you, and spending all my days and nights by your side. Even when I found you in the woods and nursed you back to health, I was happy then." he smiled fondly. "Even when you called me constantly about clogging the toilet and spicy mustard." He reached up, with trembling fingers to gently touch Oswald's cheek. "I was happy when I was with you. You bring me happiness."

For a moment the smaller man seemed to forget how to breathe. "Ed," he whispered, feeling his heart pound in his chest. They stayed like that for a long moment, just staring into each other's eyes. That intense connection between them seemed to have only grown stronger. Almost like something snapping back into place. 

Swallowing hard, Ed dropped his hand and he moved back to the duffel bag. "I know that my idea of gifts can sometimes be a bit ... odd," he shrugged. "But I wanted you to know my true feelings Oswald. And for you to understand that I am truly sorry I chose Lee over you." He unzipped the bag, pulling out a jar. 

Oswald narrowed his eyes trying to figure out what was floating in the jar of clear liquid. It was slightly brown, about the size of his fist. 

"Here," Ed handed the jar over to him. Once the realization dawned on Oswald, it took all he had not to drop the item. 

"Is .. is this.." he trailed off, mouth agape. 

"It's Lee's heart. She's dead, and she'll never come between us again," he stated as easily as though he were talking about the weather. 

He had to admit as macabre as the gift was the sentiment was something he could appreciate. He turned to place the jar on his desk, looking up at Ed with wide eyes.   
"She's really dead? You ... you killed her for me?" 

"Not so much for you as for us," he shrugged. "It seems as though life keeps drawing us back to one another. Or fate if you believe in that sort of thing. You've said it yourself, there is no Ed Nygma without the Penguin. We're a part of each other. We will be forever. It just took me a long time to realize that. And I'm sorry." 

There was so much Oswald wanted to say, but the words just wouldn't come. Something that was truly unusual. He reached up, his hand on the back of Ed's neck as he pulled him down towards him. He kissed him deeply, his heart thudding against his ribs. He found himself relaxing as Ed began to kiss him back. He knew deep down that there would have to be long discussions, but right now this was perfect. 

Ed pulled him close against him, his fingers clutching at the back of Oswald's jacket. When their lips parted, tears were streaming down his cheeks. "I love you Oswald Cobblepot, and I always will."


End file.
